This might come as a surprise (and then again, it might not) but i have absolutely no girfriends. Jeeze. I never thought I'd end up on of those girls that just hang with the boys, but somehow it has happened. Not that I've always been like this...well...maybe I have...See, I have two older brothers, the younger of which I used to pal around with when we were young. In our old neighborhood in Brooklyn there was this gang of boys around the corner who we ran with. We'd play tag (which I hate to this day. sucks being the smallest and slowest in a game of tag.) and someone's dad would break out a huge wrench to free the bursting water from the confines of the fire hydrant. They were all older than me, but I didn't care. I didn't know any better. One of the boys did have a younger sister. But she was even younger than me and I found her bland. My best friend from those earlier days was a boy named Adam who was a year older than me. We used to sit in the dirt under a bush between his house and my brother's friend Evan's house and press our closed lips together "just for practice". O.K., maybe that only happened once, but still, he was my friend. We used to make up these intricate, soap opera inspired plots and act them out in our scrubby cut-off jeans and t-shirts. When we moved to Long Island when I was six I still palled around with Michael. We'd go bike riding around the corner and hang out with his friends. Some of them had little sisters, but they just weren't interesting. Then my brother hit this certain age (re: puberty) and he no longer had any interest in having a tagalong little sister hanging around him. So I was forced to find friends of the same sex. There have been girls that I was close to. There was my best friend in 5th grade who's mom owned a Carvel next door to a drugstore we used to shop lift gum and other little nicknacks from. We used to play barbies and cabbage patch kids at her house. One time, during a sleep over at my house, we tried a little roleplaying. We took turns being the boy and felt each others flat chests up and "pretended" to kiss. I've since found that this is a normal activity for young girls. I moved again in the middle of 6th grade and had a whole gang of girl friends at my new school. We obsessed over Duran Duran and Madonna. Watched a lot of MTV. Fended off boys who wanted to ask us out. I moved again a year later. It was a hard time for me, thrust in a new, despised environment with a bunch of people who stared at me like I was an alien. I found solace in a group of other misfit girls. We banded together around the lunch table, happy to not have to sit alone and brave the ridicule that would have brought. We had fun reading Stephen King books and going to see "The Lost Boys" and trying to figure out who had a crush on whom. Then in High School I met Kathy. She was my best friend and partner in crime for a long time. I started dating the weirdest boy in school and quickly became more of a outcast than I had been in Junior High. Kathy and I were really tight, up until the time she moved to Maryland half way through senior year. Then we had a falling out. Over a boy. It was horrible. But it was unique in one way, I wasn't jealous that she got this boy (who I also liked), I was jealous that she suddenly put him in higher regard than me. It was devastating to me. I didn't talk to her for a long time, although I continued to hang out with him for a while (go figure). My best friend in college was a guy named Rob. We did everything together. He shared a dorm room with another guy who became my good friend who I ultimately dated for the bulk of my college years. I did have some girl friends, roommates and such. But I found that the one girl I became close to turned out to be a bitch (although I must admit, I'd been known to be a bitch to her, too.) So I found refuge in guy friends. My last year of college was spent mostly in the company of male friends. And an alarming number of them started turning out to be ex-boyfriends. One of my all time best friends was a guy I dated briefly in college. He recently got married. At my job now I have all these guy friends (hell, for a while I was the only female working here.) Most of the people I talk to online are male. I am awash in a sea of maleness. What I wouldn't give for a little estrogen! Some one to complain about men to! Someone to go out dancing with! Someone to go shopping with!! Don't I sound pathetic? I've recently been feeling kinda gypped cos I never got to experience having a sister. I'm actually envious of women who do. Lord, I'm crazy. But what I wouldn't give for a girlfriend.